So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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