you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
