at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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