So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I came so hard my ears popped.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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