I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
