There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize