I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
