Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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