u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
