you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
