To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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