sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
