omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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