Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We got so high we made milksteak
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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