I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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