I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
