You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
