My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
