Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How does one acquire holy water?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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