their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
