it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
