Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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