sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
