It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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