which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
