My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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