i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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