I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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