found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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