And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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