is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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