what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
