Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i out mim tonsoeep
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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