just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
