Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
