My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
