I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
