I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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