***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
