What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
