I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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