Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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