It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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