im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
