Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
