I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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