i think i have two assholes
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
