youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
