And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
