there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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