if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
