Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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