Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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