oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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