i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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