i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
