Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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