just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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