Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
