remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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