I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize