I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
