I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
