Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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