If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
