god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
