wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
