Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
