Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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