I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
