hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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