I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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